running horse HORSES by Iris ShieldsI have admired and loved horses since I was ten years old. My family did not have enough money to buy a horse, so I used to ride other people’s horses. I also attended a riding school at that time. Every day I dreamt of having my own horse and I could not wait for my dream to come true. Whenever I saw a horse, my heart melted. (more…)

forest INTERESTING OCCURRENCES...I arrived to Buenos Aires, Argentina on Saturday 3rd December 2011. I came here to experience a new way of life, to learn and grow as a person, to begin a new phase in my life, to face another challenge…

To move around the capital of Buenos Aires for me alone is not as easy as I would like it to be, for I know so little, and the city itself to me seems like one big jungle. (more…)

colours WOMAN AND MAN...Life depends on feminine as much as masculine powers. Femininity cannot exist without masculinity and vice versa. The balance and harmony of the universe cannot be denied or changed in any way. The grand truth is that we are all equal, no matter how hard it is for some to admit. (more…)

Are you listening?… for real?

listening Are you Listening? For Real?

“There are people who, instead of listening to what is being said to them, are already listening to what they are going to say themselves.”
Albert Guinon

I love this quote, because it is so true, most people are much better at talking than at listening, most of us have an innate need for approval, support, understanding, etc., and we often express it by talking. However, there is an imbalance between these needs and their fulfillment, because true listening is a rare skill. True listening is a great gift. (more…)

krishnamurti black and white cropped Krishnamurti and Dogen: The Movement of Discontinuity and The Trap of NeedinessThere is a Movement of Discontinuity

This short excerpt on J Krishnamurti’s understanding of the movement of discontinuity reveals to me how much my view is conditioned by that which apparently continues from one moment to the next. I see my wife and the mental/emotional habit is to see her as the one I know and have known for some years now. It is the same with most everything in my life; I take it for granted that most things will be as they were the last time I encountered them. (more…)

child buddha small Peace at Home with the BuddhaBUDDHISM: Peace At Home

This is Buddha’s wisdom  for peace in relationships, spoken by Thich Nhat Hanh:

“The Practice of Looking Deeply: Practicing Impermanence

All of us can understand impermanence with our intellect, but this is not yet true understanding. Our intellect alone will not lead us to freedom. It will not lead us to enlightenment.

When we are solid and we concentrate, we can practice looking deeply. And when we look deeply and see the nature of impermanence, we can then be concentrated on this deep insight. This is how the insight of impermanence becomes part of our being. It becomes our daily experience.

We have to maintain the insight of impermanence in order to be able to see and live impermanence all the time. If we can use impermanence as an object of our meditation, we will nourish the understanding of impermanence in such a way that it will live in us every day. With this practice, impermanence becomes a key that opens the door of reality.
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forgiveness Forgiving is a gift to yourselfWhy do we need to forgive?

Forgiving is a gift we give ourselves, it gives us freedom from negative emotions and power to move on with our lives!

When somebody or something has caused us pain, we can be overwhelmed by anger, frustration and sadness and as time goes by, we can get stuck in a cycle of blame. The more we ruminate about what caused us pain, the more we let our negative emotions control our life, and by doing so, we lessen our quality of life.

To get to the point where we can really forgive and not be hurt anymore, we need to recognize our own power to change our feelings, expectations, and behavior.

Forgiveness is not about who caused the pain or why, forgiveness is about our own self, it is about breaking the negative cycle and regaining power over our life. About becoming stronger, not a victim. (more…)

relationships Relationships are Complicated!This week I picked a subject that will probably touch most of us…
Let’s face it, relationships are complicated, so what can we do to about it?

In this post, I refer mainly to relationships as men and women lovers. Although there are many more relationships in our lives, and different kinds of them, today I would like to talk about this kind in particular.

A few years ago I read John Gray’s famous book:Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus Relationships are Complicated!
and I recommend it to anybody who is in a relationship or wants to be. Reading this book truly opened my eyes to a lot of truths about men, that I had never imagined, let alone understood! There are different opinions on this book, but I personally found it very helpful and accurate. (more…)

shared reading  Study skills support: How our beliefs fail our children.

Our beliefs can limit us: Do they stop you giving your child study skill support?

What we think influences what we feel and what we do. Our beliefs are what help us or stop us from achieving our wishes or goals.  This is the first of two blogs on changing your beliefs so you can give your child the study skills support they need at home.

Here are 4 common beliefs I meet when coaching families:

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forgive and forget small Forgiveness and Awakening   How to Let GoForgiveness means: First LET IT GO and then forgive. Forgive and then FORGET. When I re-member something, I am bringing it back into my energy field. Once I have looked at something that I have done to another or that another has done to me and have gone into it to see what the situation is calling me to look at, then it remains for me to take in the lesson into my heart. The final step is to SET IT FREE. I am setting free the emotional energy of that encounter. I am no longer holding it captive in my energy field. That energy is now free to move freely again as it will.

trans Forgiveness and Awakening   How to Let Go
Only if I am able to put myself in the other’s place, and, as they say, ‘walk a mile in his/her shoes’, only then can I really understand the other. Once I am able to see the situation out of his/her eyes, I realize why things happened as they did. Then resentment melts away and compassion takes its place.

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 When giving study skills support to teens – be respectful and firm

Teens might listen to understand 300x161 Study skills support for your teen: Mutual respectstill need support to develop useful study skills, but for study skills support to be effective – it is crucial to develop a mutually respectful relationship with them. Previous posts talked about why and how you….

CHECK that your teen fully agrees with the study agreements made together. EXPECT them to honour their agreements and if they don’t, expect them to explain what went wrong and what they will do next time to honour that agreement. CHECK the agreed-upon consequences happen!

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teen talking with parent Study skills support for your teen. Be assertive Offer study skills support assertively, not aggressively, and your teen is more likely to respect and keep study agreements with you.

As their study skills support person, you have the final decision about  what is acceptable or unacceptable study behavior. Create a shared understanding of study expectations as soon as possible.   Encourage discussion with your teen until you both come to an agreement on what is acceptable and unacceptable study behavior.

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 Study skill support: Monitoring your teen’s study skills respectfully. teen and homework supervision 300x199 Study skill support for your teen.Step four. Monitoring

New habits can be hard to begin! As your teen’s study skill support you can help them develop new study skill habits by monitoring them regularly. My other three posts on study skill support for your teens helped you create exciting, challenging goals and a water-tight study skill support agreement. This post gives you ideas on how you can monitor  your teen respectfully so they learn to study regularly.

 

 

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TigerKiss What Is Love?As we approach Valentine’s Day, many of us are planning and preparing to celebrate love, but do we really know what that is? What is love? My brother summed up the answer to this perennial question best: Love is a verb. No, it’s not just a morpheme used to make a syntactical structure grammatical, but an action. Love is acting selflessly, doing what is best for others, and giving unconditionally.

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teen dad talking Study skill support for your teen: Step three. Stay firm

Study skill support. How to stay firm but fair when they stop working with you.

Keep your teen to the study skill agreement and its consequences – in the face of their opposition.

Check out my last 2 blogs which covered negotiating the study deal with your teen.  Don’t renege unless some part of the study deal agreed with your teen needs renegotiating because it was clearly unfair.

If you decide to renegotiate study skill support with your teen, check out my first blog on deal making here so your child won’t hold you to ransom. Check out this post for more ideas on negotiation so that you both win.
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Study skill support: Respectful give and take.

10741810 teenager daughter and mother after quarrel at home1 Study skill support for your teen: Step two  negotiate Develop a respectful give-and-take study skill support agreement with your teen.Young adults remind me of a toddler on restraining reins. As they grow they wander further away from you, but you still hold the rein. Decide on clear expectations about study with them, and agreed-upon negative consequences for if they break the agreement.
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