I frantically told someone shortly after my brain injury “I’m in here!” It was hard for anyone to tell for sure because I didn’t sound, move, nor act like I did before, and my eyes had that blank look like nobody was home.
Let’s see if I can even try to explain this. Even though huge chunks of my personality were missing and my mental processes were all messed up as well as some physical functioning, my spirit or soul or essence or whatever you want to call it was always in tact and fully aware. This higher me was never damaged or injured and remained whole. As a matter of fact, the entity became stronger and more defined as my ego and physical self were less imposing.
I recall wondering “What part of me is observing me?” It was as though some other me was watching the new pitiful, damaged me in an unattached and objective manner without emotional reaction, but with compassion. To actually view myself kindly instead of criticizing my every move was a new perspective for me.
I was brain damaged, but, in a way, I was more introspective and more thoughtful. The injury had slowed my mind which, before, had constantly raced like a Jack Russell tirelessly chasing its tail in circles. Now, it was more like an old, fat, hound dog who can barely muster the energy to get up and waddle somewhere else only to plop down again.
While I surely wouldn’t have been a winner on “Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?,” as suggested by reading, I challenged Descartes’ “I think; therefore, I am.” While my thinking was impaired, I knew that “I” still was, and that “I” wasn’t effected.
I’ve often thought that recovering from my brain injury was the painstakingly slow process of coming back into my body. After a week filled with lots of what I came to call, “tinglies,” which were, I believe, nerves coming on board and beginning to work again, I remember telling my brother “I came back into my body this week.”
Although it may sound kind of twilight zone-ish, I now think that I wasn’t too far off. Traditionally, the brain has been thought to be the source of the mind. However, that’s like insisting that a radio is the source of the music which comes from it. While it may seem to suggest causality because the brain is active during thought, but then a radio is also active during a broadcast.
Quantum physics is confirming that there is a field of energy everywhere called “The Zero Point Field.” Rather than the old way of thinking that the mind is what the brain does, now, science is proving that the mind is the controller of the brain. Imagine that there is a cloud of possibilities – words, memories, ideas, images - from which your brain can choose at every moment. One of these possibilities becomes an actuality in the brain. Like the quantum field which has been scientifically proven to generate real particles from virtual ones, the mind generates real brain activity from possible or virtual activity.
Quantum physics is proving to have many new mind-blowing (pun intended) discoveries which are radically rewriting our understanding of the basic principles of our world and universe. Lynn McTaggart‘s book, The Field, totally altered my perception of reality with the information within its’ covers. There’s growing evidence to suggest that, in fact, we all do share the same mind field which might explain prodigies like Mozart or savants who can tell what day of the week November 16th falls on in the year 2135.
No physical process has ever been identified through which memories are transferred from neurons which die naturally every day to new neurons in the brain. Perhaps, memories exist and persist on a nonphysical level. The existence of a common mind field outside of the body would also explain, how someone can relay what dead Uncle George has to say from the beyond and other phenomenon such as distant seeing and mind reading.
We can use CAT scans and MRIs to show the activity of the brain, but that doesn’t prove that the mind arises in the brain. These are maps showing the terrain of the brain as a thought or emotion crosses it. Deepak Chopra writes in his book, Life After Death, ”They don’t prove that the brain IS the mind any more than a footprint in the sand is the same as the foot.”
I see my recovery as a matter of getting my equipment to better receive and express the signal of me which was always there, strong and clear. I’ve gone from a crackly, antiquated radio like Grandpa had to an iPod.